I finally came back after forgetting my login and my password for a long time (Hi, Alex! I still owe you an e-mail. . . )
I actually haven’t e-mailed anyone about anything for a long time. I’m being crushed by administrative crap at my job. I’ve been getting home from work late and then I don’t feel like doing anything. . . except that I have to do more administrative crap. It’s utterly soul-sucking, especially because I’m realizing just how lazy and task-avoidant other people can be, if they think I’m going to get stuck doing something for them (which I am, apparently), and because I stay up late writing e-mail instead of doing other things (like, sleeping, or reading books), and because I don’t really socialize at all. It would be nice if I could crawl out from under all of it soon; it would be even better if I didn’t really care and could let myself do a half-assed job, but I can’t.
Aside from that, nothing has really happened since I last posted here, probably. I saw Alex in New York back in 2014 (!), then I went to England for a little while, and when I came back I developed a meningitis-like virus (none of, like, six doctors had any idea what it was) and lost most of my vision for a month. That was pretty scary. I had such extreme double vision that I couldn’t focus on anything that was farther than about ten inches from my face. I wound up in an emergency room, had a shitload of blood drawn, had a couple MRIs, and lots of un-fun drugs. There was lots of shrugging and people telling me, “Sometimes these things just happen.” The initial speculation was either that I had had a small stroke or that I had a tumor. So I spent a lot of time sitting still and wondering whether it was in fact the end of the line, literally. I had a lot of those long, weird interior conversations about whether I had actually done anything meaningful with my life (no), whether there were things I still really needed/wanted to do (yes), and what tunes I’d want to have played at my funeral (umm. . . “Moon over Marin” by the Dead Kennedys? “Clash City Rockers” and “Mystery Achievement”?). It made me feel like chucking my job, although I don’t know what I’d actually do.
But then. . . I was fine. Life goes on. My dad is not well, and I’m dealing with that. I feel like I’m kind of whining about nothing, since white-collar job issues are a first-world problem and there is (apparently) still time for me to do something about that. I miss you guys. I miss punk and playing my guitar and not having to dress like a quasi-corporate stooge. I hope you are all well. Write stuff here! And I’m glad I came back and found some of you and saw those little snow-flake thingies on the site.
I have the sneaking suspicion that there is a Stevic Sin involved in all of this, but I don’t remember what it is. Happy New Year, dudes.