My Super Non-Punk Life

So mostly what I do these days is just lose weight and pop a bunch of health-food supplements and shit. L-carnitine, bee pollen, ashwaghanda, kelp…I do all that shit.

I also eat a lot of almonds and raw cashews and stuff. And I sprinkle chia seeds and ground flax on my coconut yogurt.

And I swill seltzer water like there’s no tomorrow. Because in some ways, there isn’t.

But you’re wondering…do I still find time to rock out to The Squier? Yeah. I can still throw in some jams by Billy. But these days, it’s tempered with a little Pat Benatar. And occasionally some Subhumans…UK, jerks!

Oh yeah, and I’m training for the Philadelphia Marathon. Let’s hope I don’t get blowed up!

About jollyseitan

I am.
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5 Responses to My Super Non-Punk Life

  1. steve says:

    4 bloggers like this woot woot woot woot

  2. jollyseitan says:

    Yeah, it’s about time this site got some traffic.

    Now, who wants some VIAGRA? Or perhaps a little CIALIS? Anyone? Or how about the ONE WEIRD TRICK for PENIS ENLARGEMENT?

    Also, I should point out that I’ve added the Rehoboth Beach Seashore Marathon to my roster, a scant three weeks after Philadelphia.

    Anyone interested in PRIME BEACHFRONT REAL ESTATE?

    Alright, spammers and charlatans…start liking!!

  3. steve says:

    How do I lose belly fat by eating weird food?

    Also – do you jog in these marathons or is it a power walk?

    Plus I would like some informations about salad, and if your girlfriend makes you salad after your power walk.

    As for me – no marathons. Just the gym and whey protein. Ask me how much I bench. I don’t bench. I do high intensity reps. I’m toned as balls.

  4. janet5 says:

    Oh, thank fucking God. I thought you were all dead. But noooo. . . you were just exercising. I have avoided my gym for nearly a year because I am lazy. No comment on the belly fat.

    Good luck with the marathons. I live near Philly; I could come and cheer you on and toss you a cool towel as you pass, or something. Or I could hoist a cassette boom-box blasting “Promises in the Dark” (Benatar at her finest, dude).

  5. xxadaxx says:

    Glad you’re not dead, bro. I think I lost the pictures I had of you snoozing on my La-Z-Boy, so I’ll need you to stop by sometime again when you have a chance.

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