Somebody please kill Lou Reed.

Or at least shoot him up with some smack and doll him up like a tranny so he can make one last decent album. This latest thing is just too utterly horrible… More steaming a pile of shit than that pretentious, embarrassing Raven crap. Even more unlistenable than Metal Machine Music! More obviously a phoned in attempt at making a quick buck than releasing a greatest hits album every year for the past 30 years despite a solo career conspicuously absent of a single hit! Make it stop!!! End the Madness!!!!

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13 Responses to Somebody please kill Lou Reed.

  1. k- says:

    I’ve been saying this for years. At least since his last semi-decent album “New York.” But now I add Metallica to my please-kill list. I would provide a link to them doing “White Light White Heat” with Lou Reed live, but I can’t bring myself to even see a still from that horrendous abortion.

  2. mackthinksthissucks says:

    I was just listening to New York. It’s still decent. I think in 1988 he was still resisting the sycophantic media and musicians who have since convinced him that every time he farts he redefines hipness… It’s a little sad. Or maybe Lou decided that teaming up with a band whose last decent album was also released in 1988 would make his shit stink less by comparison. But Metallica have made no bones about their being greedy whores, so I can’t really fault them for producing this half assed bullshit. Just another pay check for them… I saw the videos of them doing Sweet Jane and for some inexplicable reason Aneurysm by Nirvana. I need to listen to this to wash my earholes out:

  3. Steve says:

    yeah you’re right, that is really really bad.

    Remember him in Get Crazy, from 1983? Even then, he was type-cast as a washed up songwriter trying to make a comeback.

    Here is a clip of him trying to write one last decent song:

  4. mackthinksthissucks says:

    I totally forgot about that movie. A classic piece of cinema. Nada featuring Lee Ving is one of the most criminally underrated fake Hollywood punk bands of the 1980s. “JUMP ON MY FACE, YOU WIMPS!” Gotta add that to my Netflix queue.

  5. janet5 says:

    Mack, I can’t even bear to listen to the track you posted to start this thread. I read some “samples” of lyrics for the whole project in a newsgroup and that put me off actually wanting to have to listen to any of it. Do you think they know that someone already wasted countless hours of humankind’s precious time by turning these stories into an opera? (it’s a sucky opera, too).

  6. epanchinriot says:

    I’ve mostly ignored this thread (and listening to anything off the collabo) because Lou Reed didn’t write anything after New York. You’re not going to convince me otherwise, it’s more fun to pretend he just gave up or died or something. He never worked with Susan Boyle, he never worked with Metallica. Also because I’ve been listening to VU’s Loaded like non-stop and this would probably ruin him for a bit for me.

  7. Scary Punk Guy says:

    I think all you guys are just jealous that Lou Reed didn’t collaborate with you.

    Crybabies.

  8. k- says:

    Yeah. I had this whole jazz/ska/bluegrass fusion odyssey based on Gogol’s “The Nose” worked out that he would have just KILLED on. But he never returned any of my calls. The bastard.

  9. sjmckenzie says:

    Dude is dead now. We can all sleep safe at night knowing he will never make another album…

  10. Oh Lou, you were a pretentious asshole, but you were MY pretentious asshole. I feel like I have lost a part of myself. A part that– like my asshole, though often full of shit, was an intrinsic part of my psychosexual development and a source of great inspiration. And like my asshole, I admit to not paying as much attention to Lou’s output post 1982 as I probably should have. I’m sorry, okay? I’ll miss you, asshole. A lot. The Blue Mask is very under-appreciated. You should all probably spend at least the next six hours listening to it over and over like I have been doing all day.

  11. You know the saddest part about the whole thing? That fucking Metallica money was used to put a healthy liver into a 70 year old lifelong drug addict. How much does one of those operations go for these days? $500K? A million bucks? This is why we need those death panels Obama promised.

  12. steve says:

    “I admit to not paying as much attention to Lou’s output post 1982 as I probably should have…”

    You’re not the only one. All the tributes shit I have been reading goes straight back to the 60s and 70s. If ‘Legendary Hearts’ had been his first record, I’m pretty sure it would have been his last as well.

  13. Legendary Hearts was pretty bad, but not as shitty as Sally Can’t Dance, Growing Up in Public, Rock and Roll Heart or the ultimate stinker: Mistrial. Fortunately now that “artistic pop music” product is no longer seen as an investment worthy profit generator for the entertainment industry, we won’t have to suffer future artists pursuing Lou’s type of embarrassing, trend chasing, workman-like approach to a rock n’ roll career. But of course, we will now also miss out on all that hysterically mis-packaged and cartoonishly marketed cultural detritus. Oh well…

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