Housemari’s house

Been in PNG for several months now – thought I’d share a story.

Our housemari (this is Pidgin English for “maid”) is trying to work us for cash so she doesn’t end up homeless. She has five kids that all live in the house too. She wants about 500 kina.

Basically the story is that her brother has sold her house out from under her, to a rather scary gang of Highlanders, for 5000 kina. This is about 2400 dollars. It is the family home and is jointly owned by herself, her brother and her sister. So, her brother had no legal right to sell the house without approval from all three people, but the people he sold it to did not know this, and probably didn’t care.They gave the brother his 5000 kina and then they came around telling the rest of the family to clear out.

Our housemari and her sister have now been able to prove that the sale was illegal, but in the meantime the dickhead brother has spent 2000 kina on alcohol in the last two weeks, and is claiming that this was his share of the house. The Highlander is owed 2000 kina (he got back the other 3000) and our housemari is expected to pay this, effectively buying her brother out of his share of the property.

We are kinda concerned that if we give her any money, the brother will just wait a month or so and then try the same trick again, “selling” the house to another person and relying on his sister’s white employees to front up the cash to rebuy the house, again. Effectively he could be trying to milk us through her, without ever coming anwyhere near us.

There doesn’t seem to be any real system of title deeds here at all. People can just go around saying they own stuff and selling it to other people. The only thing our housemari can do is go and get a statutory declaration saying she owns the house – but then, the brother can do this too. In fact I think you can pretty much buy statutory declarations saying whatever you like, if you cough up a decent bribe.

So, shit’s pretty fucked up right here. I think we’re going to end up giving her the cash provided she gets some kind of solid legal assurance, and backing from the cops, saying that she owns the house and he doesn’t. Otherwise this could happen all the time.

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37 Responses to Housemari’s house

  1. mackthinksthissucks says:

    I guess the moral of the story is: clean your own house.

  2. I was wondering how this post would go down but I probably should have seen the moralism coming, shouldn’t I. It’s only been, like, eight years.

  3. Eight years since you had morals?

  4. Hmmph.

    You’re not really suggesting that having a housemari is immoral, are you? Or that there is some kind of moral standard to be maintained by not paying someone to do housework and doing it yourself?

    I’d like to see someone actually try to argue that without ending up referencing their own poverty as proof of their moral worth.

    In this case, can you let me know how the “moral” of the story about my housemari’s situation with her brother is that I should stop employing her and then do it myself?

    I realise it was probably just a cheap shot but seeing as she is coming to work crying or with bruises all over her I’m kinda struggling to find it funny.

  5. k- says:

    I didn’t respond because I didn’t know what to say.
    Still don’t.

  6. Your story does not need to be about something immoral for there to be a moral to the story. And I never suggested you fire her. But by hiring her in the first place you put yourself if this situation. Is it immoral to pay somebody to do your housework? I don’t know. It depends how much you pay her. If she just needs 500 kina, that’s about $240 by your reckoning. Surely you pay her at least that in a week or 2 to clean your house. So it doesn’t seem like it should be such a big deal to advance her a week or two’s salary and have her pay you back over the next couple of months. It might make the bookkeeping a little tricky. Assuming she is “on the books.” If she tries it again or doesn’t pay you back, then you might want to let her go. You did seem to have a pretty clear understanding of the dangerous nature of the place before you went there, but your need to minimize your daily chores trumped your concern for safety.

  7. …But if you wanted to debate the morality of hiring a domestic to do work that you could just as easily do yourself, I would be up for it, and I don’t think that I would need to reference my own poverty or lack thereof. Though, again, I never suggested it was immoral. I think my argument would probably rely on your being an employer that almost certainly undervalues the work of your employee (hourly, does she make the same rate as you or your wife?), provides no benefits (do you pay for her health insurance? And by that I mean insure that she gets the same health care that you yourself would want. I understand that you are in an underdeveloped country and the health care system is very different from the “industrialized western nations”) and no job security… But I don’t want to debate it, because I am not so sure I believe in morality as a concept, much less that what you are doing is immoral. You just accidentally conflated my use of the word “moral,” as in story or lesson, with your own subconscious apprehension that you may be participating in an exploitative practice. I say chill out. Lend her the dough and set up a way for her to pay you back. If her brother keeps leaning on her, go tell him to get fucked.

  8. I’m sad that no-one else other than you responded to this because my experience over here is like this post, and it is going to be like this, and I’m not really seeing this blog as a good place to talk about it right now so that could be a loss for me. I posted a pretty reseprentative story of what it is like here (other stuff has happened as well, same kinda issues, not as direct) and got a “you knew the risks, what are you complaining about?” response from you, and silence from others.

    But getting past that, I think your response is parochial crap, Mack. Your experience lately seems (from your posts) to have been living in New York, being periodically bummed, drinking, and stuff about cops and landlords being assholes. I’m going to remain quiet on that because I don’t live there, but if I did say anything, it wouldn’t be “if you don’t like it, don’t put yourself in that situation!” This is just such a banal, wingnut response.

    It’s also hard to even start arguing with you about security implications because the whole “tell him to get fucked” thing would play soooo badly over here, and if that would be your final response to this situation afer all else had failed, I basically don’t know what to say.

    This is why I made the comment about having to ultimately reference your own poverty, or at least immobility, in order to back this kind of argument up. My family could go back home, sure, and earn a decent living. We could also choose not to not live in this compound, or in PNG at all, and that would be easier and we would have less to complain about. Or, we could have fired our hausmari when we arrived. But we chose not to and become involved in a difficult sitiation, hopefully resolved.

    I’m annoyed the initial response to all this was basically: “if you don’t like it, don’t do it!” I’m vaguely reminded of redneck slogans that say, “If You Don’t Like Australia, Leave”: It’s so easy to get that equation, complaint = problem, and apply it to anyone you do not relate to.

    Especially bummed to see that response filled out with two paragraphs of all this two-tone, carefully-guarded stuff, full of disclaimers about how you are not sure if you believe in morality or not, and you don’t want to debate it, but also, asking me to answer some pointed questions in the meantime. And then asking me to chill.. Gah.

    So, you you don’t want to debate it, but…

    “But if you wanted to debate the morality of hiring a domestic to do work that you could just as easily do yourself, I would be up for it…”

    OK. Debate that. The topic is right there, include the Pacific health system if you like. I’m not asking you to chill.

  9. I would need a lot more information to have an informed debate. How much do you and your wife make? How much does your housemari make? Does she travel to work or live on site? What are her exact duties? Do you feel that her duties are unskilled and therefore less valuable than those of you or your wife? How many hours does she work a week? How many hours a week do you and your wife work? How many hours does she really work a week? How many hours a week do you and your wife really work? What type of health care do you have? i.e. if you got sick, what would you do and how would it be paid for? What kind of health care does she have? If she got sick what kind of care would she receive and how would she pay for it? Does she have a contract that ensures her employment for a well defined period of time? A retirement plan?
    Again I don’t WANT to debate it. I will if you desire. And you seem to so desire.

    I still like my suggestion of loaning her the money and developing a repayment plan. If a person is your friend, or you care about them, it shouldn’t matter what the exact circumstances are that require such a small amount of money. Especially if she is obligated to you to provide you with hourly work in return for a wage. You hold all the cards. I also like my suggestion to tell the guy to get fucked if he tries it again. You admitted that it was just an assumption that he was acting as an extortionist with no real evidence. By “tell him to get fucked,” I mean do it in whatever way is customary in your neck of the woulds. When I lived in Boston and had downstairs neighbors who were running a whorehouse out of the apartment down stairs, I felt the appropriate way to ask them to get fucked was to threaten them with a butcher knife and let them know that the next time I might not be so friendly and might have to call the cops. You’re a smart guy. I am sure you can figure out a way to tell this brother to get fucked that will get through to him.

  10. …Also, if it helps, my experience lately is, in addition to living in NYC, being periodically bummed, drinking and having problems with cops and landlords, being a full time dad to my 2 year old son. And I do like it, living where I am living and doing what I am doing. As much as I would like it anywhere else, that is. If I felt the danger outweighed the necessity of being here for my wife’s job, we would leave in a heartbeat. But we certainly don’t plan on packing up and moving to Papua New Guinea just so to bitch about the natives anytime soon. I am sure Kevin and Janet will eventually weigh in with heartfelt useful advice about how to deal with your white man’s burden, but I thought I’d give it a shot. Sorry you didn’t like my advice.

    • janet5 says:

      It’s been a long time since I was insulted in a conversation that I’m not even participating in. Thanks.

      Steve, I didn’t respond when you first posted this not because I was ignoring the post, but because I found it poignant and didn’t think my comments would add anything. I didn’t know what to say. Especially given that I knew what kind of response I would get, so why bother? I guess I don’t really have much to contribute to today’s comments because I don’t even know where to start. I’ll just say that I want to hear more about PNG, whether in this forum or somewhere else. Please.

        • Me neither. ? Not sure what this is about.

          • janet5 says:

            I meant that when “I am sure Kevin and Janet will eventually weigh in with heartfelt useful advice about how to deal with your white man’s burden” appears in a message, that is pretty insulting. Or maybe the word I’m looking for is patronizing. Since I hadn’t worked through my own responses to this situation, I’m wondering why someone would assume that I had. So Steve, it was not directed at you.

            • mackthinksthissucks says:

              Sorry. Maybe a bit patronizing. But you both usually are pretty heartfelt with your comments and tend to offer good advice when the situation seems to warrant it. And yes, I thought Steve’s original post, wrongly it turns out, might have in some small way been an appeal for advice. That was presumptuous. Sorry AGAIN!

      • I’ll happily say more about PNG some time.

        “Especially given that I knew what kind of response I would get, so why bother?”

        I do not know what this means and don’t see what either me or Mack did to insult you. I was a bit sad no-one responded. Doesn’t actually equate to insulting you, does it?

        • janet5 says:

          You didn’t. I meant that I could sense a mile away that this was going to degenerate into a bunch of attacks on your purportedly cushy lifestyle, and that I get a little tired of anticipating that kind of smug response instead of some actual constructive responses. Which means that I don’t post stuff that I often think that I might want to, because god forbid I’m not as morally upright as Mack is. I don’t mind constructive criticism, but I don’t deal well with abuse.

          And that the actual point here is that A WOMAN IS BEING BEATEN AND PHYSICALLY COERCED, and that the kind of snide response that Mack started with is exactly the kind of language that silences women (and others) from having conversations about this and from feeling as though it is being taken seriously. God forbid that I overlook the structural inequalities inherent in the System by talking about an actual person.And no, Mack, I do not think that you don’t care about women’s rights; only that your language can sometimes be hurtful.

          Although now I’m doing the same thing, aren’t I? Anticipating what people might say instead of just letting them say it. My turn to apologize, then.

          • “A WOMAN IS BEING BEATEN AND PHYSICALLY COERCED…”

            Oh, man. The situation with domestic abuse over here is totally horrifying. At one extreme, there’s something like 10 rapes reported in this town every weekend, and god knows how many more. And there’s only 80,000 people in the main town! At the lower level, there’s female workmates with bruises and pained expressions, and the constant feeling that they dread going home on the weekend, especially on the Friday payday. There doesn’t seem to be much option in the culture to do anything about it. The legal system only operates in the extreme cases. For the lower level stuff, they have to try to get the community leaders to put a stop to the behavior, and if this doesn’t work out, then the women are just stuck with it.

            Our hausmari is actually single because her (abusive) husband ran away with a younger woman and she says she prefers it this way. But she’s getting the double whammy with the abuse, because now her brother is picking on her as well. We’re actually still waiting to find out if she had got this house situation sorted or not. We have been in Port Moresby for the last two weeks doing language training and she was supposed to come to work today but she hasn’t showed. (I just rang her sister who tells me that she had stayed home and forgotten that today was Fri 30!). So, when she turns up we’ll see how she got on down the courthouse.

            After I made my initial post we have heard three or four other stories about men selling the family home so they can go binge drinking, or losing them in gambling, or just getting bullied by other guys into selling them. It’s startlingly fucked up.

            Anyway, I’m for just posting what I feel like talking about, and telling Mack to go stick his knee-jerk reverse classism back where it came from. So, I will be posting more about PNG at some point and I hope you find it interesting.

            • janet5 says:

              Holy shit. I mean, just. . .
              And I just spotted some random (slightly older) news item on the web calling Port Moresby the most dangerous capital city in the world??

              • Not sure if I believe that statistic.

                I think PNG has a bad media reputation by being a dangerous place which is near a lot of other comparatively safe places. There is really nowhere else in the region like it.

                But I suspect it is probably quite tame in African or Central American terms. And certainly nothing on the Middle East.

                Incidentally, she has now turned up to work, and says she has won her fight in court while we were away. The Highlanders have renounced their claim on the house, and she and her sister will own the property outright, the brother is going to move somewhere else. So hopefully things will simmer down.

  11. OK. ‘Bitching about the natives’ is the last straw for me. I’m going to ask you something straight out. And this is the debate that I really do want to have here.

    What you seem to want is to suggest is that my problems,or even any situation I am in, are privileged problems, that somwhow I shouldn’t be complaining about because then I am ‘bitching about the natives’ or just need to chill. This isn’t the first time you have made comments like this to me. “Problems of the leisured classes” was another comment when we first thought about moving here and we were stressed about the security situation. It’s been behind a few other situations between us as well.

    I think they’re all cheap shots on the surface, but underneath there’s the sense that you feel you have a right to describe situations you are in (such as say, the one with the drug-dealing ice cream van) but if I do likewise, you react as though I’m boring you with my privileged white guy issues and I should chill and stop complaining, or even commenting.

    Do you think that once people reach a certain level of income they suddenly have no right to be complaining or analysing their situation? Or that their social concerns for themselves and others are not real and they should all just shut up?

    Or do you somehow feel that your issues aren’t first world problems? Or are somehow more real than mine?

    What is it about my situation that you think marks me out as having privilleged problems whereas yours are somehow different? Is it the fact that you are quite often broke and I am not?
    If not, what is it?

    I’m totally aware that I am engaged in exploitative practices but basically, it has nothing to do with me being in PNG or hiring a hausmari. My whole existence as a Westerner relies on the exploitation of a bunch of people I’ve never even seen and so does yours. Are you aware of this? If you think you are somehow outside of the system just because you think it’s wrong, you aren’t. Having some basic ideological position about equal pay being a good idea doesn’t mean you somehow don’t have first world problems. And nor does trying to set up other people as the ones who have first world problems, so you can pretend you don’t.

    Basically, I reckon you just want your voice to have more social creedence than mine because I have more money than you do. And if that isn’t true, you’ll be able to tell me why my post here is just me “bitching about the natives” and easily dealt with, but your posts about your issues with local drug dealers or “whorehouses” (lovely word) are somehow in a different category.

    Incidentally, did you really have such a big issue with the ice-cream van, or, did you just want to talk about it? Would you like some advice about how that situation was actually quite easy to deal with and you should stop complaining? Just tell them to fuck off, man. Stop complaining about your easy problems. You need to chill!

  12. I thought the ice cream truck anecdote might be amusing to people. It has since got sorted. Got the neighbors on the block to confront the dude and he no longer does his thing here. I really can’t respond to your post right now. I’m beyond shit faced and I need to go read James and the Giant Peach to Eli for bedtime. But yeah, there is a difference between being an unwitting and/or unwilling dupe in an imperialistic economic system and deciding that not only are you a witting and willing dupe, but also that you don’t think it is worth your time or energy to consider whether or not your particular actions go above and beyond those of the Nike wearing useful idiots of global corporate capitalism. Fuck it man, why waste your time arguing with dumb high school drop outs? Aren’t there cocktail parties that you could bring this shit up in in a more refined manner where nobody’s feelings got hurt? Perhaps when you get back to civilization? I don’t understand your lifestyle. That’s all there is to it. I’m sure you probably do understand mine. I’m a FUCKING cliche. I don’t give a shit if you want to get brownie points for slumming with the noble savages or if your wife is just making the best career move to insure her family as cushy an upper middle class lifestyle in the future as possible. I’ll have that fucking debate about whether or not hiring someone to clean the skidmarks off your shorts is moral or not when I sober up, but until then, grow a pair and stop bemoaning your privileged lot in life.

  13. “Do you think that once people reach a certain level of income they suddenly have no right to be complaining or analysing their situation? Or that their social concerns for themselves and others are not real and they should all just shut up?”
    No, I do not believe that. I do believe however that if one chooses to put themselves in harm’s way they do forfeit a certain amount of sympathy. 99% of the people on this planet live where they live because they have no other choice. In my family’s particular case, we may have a choice, but it would mean losing our source of income and possibly becoming destitute. I have a feeling that your decision was not between such extremes. My belief, and I really have to cut this short, is that you have a social imperative to take the risks that the people you are exploiting are taking just to maintain their level of subsistance. Gotta fucking go. The Cloud-Men are attacking the peach and I don’t think the Centipede is long for this world.

  14. Ok, done reading to the boy. You still haven’t provided the necessary information for me to have a truly informed debate, but I can say after re-reading your comment a couple of times: basically, what it boils down to is that you are a fucking asshole. From everything you have ever written on the internet in the past (not least of which being your respect for the fucking Stranglers), it is my conclusion that you have no fucking soul. The reason I get all uppity when you start bitching is because you fucking suck. I hope you learn how to assimilate within your new community or learn to live outside of it without any semblance of a conscience or concern for your employee(s) and their families/class, otherwise you’re fucked. Take your fucking justifications for your exploitation and shove them up your ass.
    Also, I’m sorry the word whorehouse is not lovely enough for you. It wasn’t a very lovely situation. Would “apartment where male crackheads were pimping out their female crackhead acquaintances” be a more lovely way of putting it? Jesus… Fuck… BLAAARRRRRGH!!!

  15. Yep. You think I’m an asshole and that I suck and that my lifestyle is cushy and that my family probably make decisions totally on the basis of economic outcomes, and that I have no soul and no right to complain about or even describe my life and that I should just grow a pair and realize how lucky I am. And basically, you’d like me to go and talk to the cocktail party people about this while you talk to the people who get you.

    I realize all this. I have done for a while. I’m not really that offended and I’m not going to bother defending myself or my family because that wasn’t the point. What was bothering me was reading your pissy comments on my posts, with you half-pretending it’s cool and that I’m overreacting, and there was nothing in it.

    So, I like that you actually came out and said it. It was obvious this stuff was underneath, but before, you didn’t really want to say why.

    In reality you must know there isn’t actually any more “value” or “credibility” in your lifestyle than there is in mine. Basically, I just piss you off and you don’t like hearing me “complaining” about my life to any level, just because you think it sucks. And, when pressed to argue why, you are starting to get pretty close to the position I thought you’d take, because you had no other option:

    In my family’s particular case, we may have a choice, but it would mean losing our source of income and possibly becoming destitute. I have a feeling that your decision was not between such extremes.

    No, it wasn’t and I already said it wasn’t. But so what? What is your actual point in saying this? Does it mean that you have some kind of right to speak as though you are living in a non-exploitative way? Why are you comparing your situation to mine? Is it, as I suggested, the idea that poverty and immobility confer some kind of moral worth or value, which my family does not have because we have options?

    Yeah, there is a difference between being an unwitting and/or unwilling dupe in an imperialistic economic system and deciding that not only are you a witting and willing dupe, but also that you don’t think it is worth your time or energy to consider whether or not your particular actions go above and beyond those of the Nike wearing useful idiots of global corporate capitalism.

    So now your argument seems to be: “OK, so maybe there’s isn’t actually any moral value in being poor, we just can’t help being part of an exploitative system, whereas you guys can, because you are not poor.” You’re just helpless, we’re not. Is that it?

    Or, do you think that we are “willing dupes” because we are living overseas and working on an aid program? Would we do better just being ordinary middle class people, going to our cocktail parties and shutting up? What should people in our situation do, in order to fulfill this obligation you seem to think that we have, and that you do not? How do we avoid the perils of dupedom, Mack?

    All up, it still basically sounds to me like you just think I suck because I am richer than you and you want there to to be some reason why this means I am wrong, but you can’t pin one down.

    For the record, I don’t really dislike you, and your actual posts don’t so much piss me off as make me roll my eyes. I think you often sound like you’re posing as a kind of punk Raymond Chandler, which should be awesome, but you’re not doing it very well. I mean, who says “whorehouse” unless they’re writing period fiction? It sounds like you are novelizing your life while you are living it. It’s all this kind of grunge / punk window dressing, descriptions of urban seediness, sort of a complaint, but all done in this kind of smug, glib way as though that stuff is actually kinda cool somehow, and you want everyone to think so.

    I don’t know if that was what you were talking about when you said you were a cliche, but, you do often sound like a cliche to me.

  16. k- says:

    Damn, this thread is exhausting. I engage against my better judgement, but I still don’t know what to say. I’ve spent some time in Africa, so have had to grapple with some of the ‘white man’s burden’ questions that come up (even in things as seemingly innocuous as negotiating with street vendors). The scenario presented by Steve is a tricky one, and I wouldn’t presume to be able to advise on it. Yet, at the same time, for personal reasons, I find it challenging to empathize or judge.
    There have been interesting elements in the discussion, but my reading is tinted by the history of Steve and Mack’s antagonism towards each other in past threads. Each post seems booby-trapped and I don’t have the strength or attention span to go through the process of disarming it in order to get to the chewy Tootsie Roll center.

  17. epanchinriot says:

    You both are fucking cliches and you’re both making me want to leave the internet (or at the very least the DFP) forever. At the very root, this argument means nothing. I like how it started off as an intriguing story into a woman’s life and the fucked up shit going on it, and turned into a dick measuring contest.

    Fuck you, both.

    Runs out of room crying*

    *not literally, but almost.

  18. The scenario presented by Steve is a tricky one, and I wouldn’t presume to be able to advise on it.

    Did the post seem to call out for advice, empathy or judgement? That’s odd to me. Like I keep saying, I just posted it as a kind of representative story about the sort of situations people get into here. It was never really something where my input was going to have much bearing on the situation anyway, other than deciding to lend her the cash. Everything else was just a matter of whether she got the brother off her case or not, or whether he was going to keep bullying her in order to get to us. And she has won, we think…

    And Alex, the root of the argument for me isn’t whether I’m right about anything in particular, so I don’t really see it as a dick-measuring contest, at all. It’s about whether I can post stuff like this story, without getting told to either stop complaining about my privileged lot in life, or go talk about it somewhere else. That’s what’s being said here.

    • mackthinksthissucks says:

      You know what I think? I think it is more of a validation that you are saying something worth saying if somebody tells you that you are an asshole for saying it, or “cry me a fucking river,” or “it’s your own fucking fault.” Not the most helpful or polite responses, but ones that obviously mean you are discussing issues that are complex and interesting. I wonder if anyone would have responded if I didn’t get you hot under the collar. Would you rather scream into a void or occasionally hear “shut the fuck up!” echo back at you? I prefer the latter.

  19. k- says:

    Mack made a direct reference to me and Janet offering advice. But yeah, your original post did seem to have an implicit call for empathy (a word which admittedly I employed as a reference to the pp.com feud I had with Greg). And isn’t that your point? You posted a story here hoping it would an empathetic space (that is, you wouldn’t be chastised for living the expat life of relative privilege). For me, the challenges of the original post had little to do with you, but with navigating the complexities of PNG culture around gender, violence, family relations, land-ownership, and economic survival strategies. Which explains my frustration that the thread seemed to become about you and Mack. Given their responses, I suspect that Janet and Alex had the same reaction (but I won’t speak for them).
    But I read your original post and it stuck with me for days. I appreciated you posting it and I look forward to more posts from you and everybody else. Is this an empathetic space? Probably not entirely. But it is “our” space and you can do whatever the fuck you want with it, no?

    • mackthinksthissucks says:

      Everybody, sorry for being a dickhead. I will not apologize for my use of the word whorehouse, though. There are whorehouses and there are brothels, and they are entirely different things. I am sorry my use of the word offended your delicate sensibilities, Steve. We do speak different variations of the English language, perhaps whorehouse means something different in Scottishy Australiany English then it does in Boston American English. Really though, I am an asshole, and I will try not to post here again, because it seems like it is not really the place for me to run my mouth. Truth be told I don’t remember posting any of my responses in this thread. I am pretty proud of my command of the written language when black out drunk, though. I think this conversation would have gone a lot differently in real time in the real world. I call out the assholes I know for being assholes with quite a bit of regularity and they in turn call me out for being an asshole and usually the whole thing ends in laughs. The fucking absurdity of existence. And noone’s feelings get hurt. It’s this stupid medium that makes us both over analyze the fucking words on the screen looking for points to jump on and criticize. Obviously my replies look a bit mean spirited and all, but I really did not mean it in a nasty way when I told you you fucking suck and have no soul. I meant it truthfully, but not as an insult. Fuck it. I feel bad that it seemed like my disdain for your class privilege trumped my concern for your maid’s safety, and maybe for a while in drunken idiocy it did. That is fucking stupid. I don’t take it as an insult or a particularly astute or profound observation when you (Steve) say that I sound like I am novelizing my life with gritty grungy punky cliche verbosity or whatever the fuck you were getting at. I understand you don’t understand me, and it doesn’t bother me. I am not that great at expressing myself. Fuck it. I try. I fail. I try again. But I have never tried to be anything that I am not. I never tried to be a pompous snob or a lower class cretin with an agenda. Maybe I am both. But I never tried to be either… Fuck it. Fuck it. Fuck it.

  20. k- says:

    Oh shut the fuck up and give me a hug.

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