This is just bound to regain Mack’s respect

or if that doesn’t work…

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4 Responses to This is just bound to regain Mack’s respect

  1. k- says:

    These are all horrendous. “Magic” by Pilot wins hands down. You boys are pathetic. But I didn’t have any respect for either of you to begin with, so no harm done.

  2. steve says:

    “Magic” by Pilot wins hands down.

    You have dismissed John Waite and are dead to me.

  3. PD Allen says:

    I saw John Waite get the crap beat out of him. It happened at a friend’s house. Let’s call her Viki. Viki was a dealer. She dealt mostly in PCP, but she also dealt weed, acid, coke, shit and about anything else you could think of.

    John Waite came around a couple times. He always had an anorexic blonde groupie girlfriend in tow. And he had attitude. (How come every singer I’ve ever met was an extreme narcissist?) He flaunted all that rock star vanity. He was a real pretty boy.

    He had a thing for PCP, and Viki had the best around. She encouraged his business because she got a kick out of dealing to musicians. John came over twice. Both times, I was the only one there besides Viki. So no one else knew him.

    Viki’s boyfriend, Jesse, was a washed out junkie. He loved needles. Jesse would shoot anything. I once watched him freebase coke only to wind up with this yellow gummy crap. Did he throw it away? No. He loaded it up and shot it. Damn near died. He was bed-ridden for a week. Couldn’t even get up to take a shit. Viki had to wash him and change the bedding. In turn, Jesse had done the same for her when she maxed herself out.

    Anyway, Viki always had a big birthday bash. Everyone showed up, bikers, freaks, druggies, you name it. It was a wild time.

    Well, this particular year, Viki was fighting with Jesse when her birthday came around. She wanted to get away from him for a while, so she took a load of dope south on an overnight trip. Jesse didn’t know she was going to be gone so long, so he went ahead with the party. He thought it would be a way of making up with her.

    Before the party started, Jesse tried to hustle a little business. He brought in a load of pure PCP, expecting to sell the whole lot to one customer. He and Bill Willis tested the shit out. Bill snorted a big line of it and had a fountain of blood pouring out of his nose. He collapsed in a back room while the deal went down.

    There was some problem with the buyers and Jesse wound up pulling in less money than he had paid for the crap. Of course, he used Viki’s money. He was so stoned, he couldn’t even think straight to realize how screwed he was.

    Later on the party started, and was soon swinging in full gear. There was a barbecue, and a bonfire. All kinds of drugs were floating around. Jesse had set up Viki’s stereo so we had loud music playing.

    Jesse was in one of his paranoid moods. He knew he’d screwed up. He’d be lucky if Viki didn’t shoot him, or have him beat up. She’d been known to do both. The PCP was also messing with his head. He didn’t know half the people at the party, and he was worried they were all undercover agents. He had a .22 pistol he was carrying around. And whenever he got too freaked out about someone, he would put his hand in his pocket where the touch of the pistol reassured him.

    Into this scene strolled John Waite and his girlfriend. John was preening, expecting everyone to crowd around and ask for his autograph. But that didn’t happen. So he strutted around, asking for Viki and talking about his hit records and his upcoming tour. Someone pointed him toward Jesse.

    John went up to Jesse and asked, “Where’s Viki?”

    “Who are you?” Jesse demanded.

    “I’m John Waite. I have a present for Viki.”

    “Yeah, well I’m Eric Clapton, and I’ve got a present for you.” Jesse pulled out his gun and pointed it in John’s face.

    John went paler than Jesse ever was. His girlfriend let out a little squeal.

    “Hey, man. Don’t you know who I am?”

    “Yeah, I know who the fuck you are.” Jesse struck him in the face with the gun.

    John Waite went down, and Jesse was on top of him. Jesse pounded on him for a while before losing steam. Jesse was all skin and bones. He wasn’t much of a fighter, but that gun in his hand was worse than a pair of brass knuckles.

    John’s girlfriend started screaming. “Whatta you doin to him! Stop it! John!”

    It didn’t take long for Jesse’s paranoia to dissipate. He climbed off John Waite and wandered off, sick to his stomach. Another friend, a big biker named Chaz, took the gun from him.

    Unluckily for John Waite, Bill Willis had revived and stumbled outside in time to see the tail end of the pistol whipping. After Jesse left off, Bill climbed on top on John and beat him for good. Bill was a much bigger guy, and he made a mess out of John’s face.

    I caught a hold of Jesse and confirmed, “That guy’s a singer. He’s been over a couple times. Viki knows him.”

    “Fuckin shit,” Jesse mumbled.

    He walked over to where Bill Willis was pounding John Waite’s face. “Bill, man. Let him go. Bill, stop it.”

    Bill climbed off John and staggered away.

    John Waite lay on the ground, moaning. His girlfriend fell on him. “You’re a bunch of crazy fuckin animals! He is John Waite.”

    “What the fuck’s goin on here?” It was Viki, who had finally arrived home after a twelve hour drive.

    “Hey, Babe, I threw you a birthday party,” Jesse told her.

    “I see that. Why the fuck you beatin on my friends?”

    “The guy’s creepy. I thought he was a narc.”

    There was a siren off in the distance.

    Viki gave Jesse a dangerous look. “That better not be comin here.”

    In an instant the party was over. Guests disappeared everywhere. Jesse and Bill included. By the time the police got there, all that was left was Viki, John Waite and his girlfriend, and a few stragglers.

    Viki told the cops she had no idea what was going on. She had just come back from visiting relatives down south to find her former boyfriend throwing a big party. John Waite and his girlfriend confirmed her story. John Waite refused to press charges.

    Several years later, John came out with his big hit song, Missing You. Every time I see the video, I think of the guy who got his face beat in at Viki’s birthday party.

  4. Great Southern Steve says:

    This was good but I didn’t know how to respond. “Pearls before swine” came to mind.

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