Drummer wanted to provide chunky, hard-hitting beat for avant garde experimental interet collaboration combo. We will rewrite music history for the illiterate. Must have GSOH and TMTOTH. No non-timewasters.
Please send links to mp3 samples of your work via e-mail to greatsouthernsteve@gmail.com. (Plus boob photos.)
Afer a rigorous selection process (the first applicant will be sucessful) we will notify you of our decision.
Yours,
The as yet un-named band.
chartreuseviolet
Costa
epanchinriot
Great Southern Steve
janet5
maggieloveshopey
miranda bastard
Daisy Anne
Steevo
sjmckenzie
mystery boy
xxadaxx
The DFP 
You know, I have been led to believe that a certain person in our midst once played drums for a punk band in San Francisco. I’m not naming names, but her name begins with a D and ends in a Y.
Dolly Parton!
(boobs)
I agree, the Parton hair was always a problem.
can i request real boobs? i’m allergic to scarybreasticles. and, even if i could play drums, i have now been eliminated from the obvious ubercompetition by my huge hair. way to go, imaginary bandmates.
back to business law speechmaking. sooo glad i’m an overpaid academic instead of a fun-having musician.
I don’t think these are insurmountable obstacles. You could either cut the hair off, or wear a skull cap when performing. And breasts do not have to be large to be nice. On a side note: can you actually play the drums?