Rustbelt

Lately, I’ve been wondering why it is that my poems rarely ever top out over 26 lines. I try and eembelish them, but generally don’t know how. Perhaps, it’s (over)exposure to punk tunes in my younger years which led me to believe in quick-to-the-point/less is more?

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About Steevo

40 male takoma park, md https://twitter.com/exsk8pnk
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8 Responses to Rustbelt

  1. k- says:

    I liked the Husker Du reference, but I thought the final line (‘Big Buck$ Incorporated) was too trite. It was too easy a name to throw out there and cheapened the whole poem. I think you can come up with something more original and, thus, more powerful.

    • Steevo says:

      I dunno man…I like the poem, but it seems like there are few cliches here and there. I’m still playing around with it, but i really don’t think it’s going to change much more.

  2. Daisy Anne says:

    Steve — I like it, but I agree with Kevin that the last line was too trite.

    • Steevo says:

      You’re right.

      • k- says:

        Wait a second. Did you just disagree with me (“I dunno man”) and then when Daisy says “I agree with Kevin” you tell her that she is right? I think you just royally dissed me. That was harsh.

      • Steevo says:

        no, let me clarify…the “i dunno man” is in reference to your Husker Du reference…see, unless someone’s completely offbase in their interpretation (btw- you were’nt) of my poesy, i don’t usually directly comment on theor gleanings. Unfortunately. in this instance i’ve unintentionally insulted you. sorry.

  3. maggieloveshopey says:

    I don’t think you need to come up with anything more original – just drop the last line altogether, and end it on “…dead end job”

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