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William McDouchebag from your past wants to be friends on facebook
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Was it the same William McDouchebag who beat the crap out of you on the playground when you were eleven, trashed your bike, and peed on your math book? Somehow, those are the kinds of people who forgot why it was we didn’t want to be their friends anymore in real life.
I’m not on facebook, largely because I like the idea that my past stays in my past. Also because I suspect that facebook would turn into another one of those bloggy-type things where I’d have great intentions of keeping it updated and exciting, but I’d give up after a month or so (re: that earlier DFP post).
This particular William was not a beater, more of a beatee. But he was a slaven gossip and hopelessly fickle.
I don’t know if you watch Community, but I fear he is a ‘gateway douchebag.’ That is, if I accept his request, several other more hideous douchebags will think it cool to ask me, too.
I have messaged him asking what he wants.
I have been on facebook about a year, but very low key. But I recently got friended by a real old friend and now I am starting to show up on the “people you might know” radar. And yeah, these are the sort of people that are entirely oblivious to why other people might not have wanted to hang around with them.
I only accept friend requests from hideous douchebags. Everybody else posts too many inspirational Maya Angelou quotations and/or blurry cell phone pics of their fascinating meals. Sometimes the douchebags do that too, but then you can berate them with foul language and name calling with impunity.
hmmm fascinating meals, eh?
your’e just envious of my Lengua tacos obtained from a food truck.
Everybody else posts too many inspirational Maya Angelou quotations and/or blurry cell phone pics of their fascinating meals.
I know the type. I have one friend who has actually made their house into a location page, and regularly used to post about what they had for dinner, as though it were an event.
The ‘unsubscribe from status updates by this user’ button is actually one of my better friends on Facebook.
what irks me are the self-congratulating “memes” about “a REAL father does x, y, z, and occasionally f” or whatever. folks, seriously. stop it. Just do what’s right and post a “daily jam” (musical tune) like me.