And This is News…How?

Last October, an autopsy by the Cook County medical examiner’s office determined that a 3-month-old South Side girl was the victim of homicide. The event remains unreported largely outside Chicago local media, but it appears that she may have been bashed to death by a parent.

Not really newsworthy, I guess, unless you live in Chicago.  I assume that kind of thing happens sometimes. It does here in my home-town, too.

Still, I do wonder how much police time is dedicted to solving such an incident, compared to the police attention given to fucking Michael Jackson and his stupid fucking doctor and his stupid fucking drug habit and his stupid, horrible family.

I don’t live in LA. I’m not sure why I should be bombarded with information about some rich, insane arsehole and his botched assisted suicide attempt / overdose / predatory doctor. I’m sure that kind of thing happens from time to time in “LA rich people land.” But that’s not where I live. So, how is that news?  

Basically, I think it must be almost impossible for police to maintain their integrity about time and resources when this kind of shit happens.

best non-sex-related spam e-mail I’ve received

ATTENTION: SIR/MADAM.

For your information, we have been authorized by the President Barrack Obama to get everyone who is involved in money laundry and terrorism; this was as a result of what happened by a Nigerian man with reported links to al-Qaida who tried to blow up a US airliner with a new type of explosive device on Friday the 25th December before he was Subdue by passengers in what officials said was an attempted Christmas Day terror.

Now your name has also been included in the list of terrorism and money laundry because you have been taking this matter for granted since but now we have started taking our legal action because no one is above the law and we cannot allow anyone to bring shame to our country, since you have decided not to cooperate with us by furnishing us with the required certificate, we have therefore forwarded your name and information including your picture to the office of the Presidency as he required and right now he has warned us seriously and ordered that we should get everyone arrested and charge them to court immediately because this is not a childish play.

The best you can do right now is to forward to us the certificate that is FBI Identification Record and Tax Clearance so that we can forward it to the President and tell him that you earned the fund legally and not a money laundry or for sponsoring terrorism because this is what we are going to charge you of course you know the penalty and our government will not tolerate it any longer. For your information, you have only 3 working days to provide it otherwise you will be arrested immediately and hand your case file over to the presidency.

The ball is in your court, note that the person you will contact that will help you to get the certificate is Peter Benson Esq from London, United Kingdom. We are now back and ready to take up this case to any level because we cannot seat down and watch not only foreigners but also our own citizens to involve in illegal action, especially in money laundry and terrorism.

Be warned and don’t fail to get back to us immediately otherwise you will hear our knock on your door with hand-cuff, on your return to this message, we are going to confirm the email address of Peter Benson Esq so that you can contact him for the issuance of the certificate.

We look forward to hear from you today.

THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.

ROBERT MUELLER, III
Anti-Terrorist and Monetary Crimes Division
Fbi Headquarters In Washington, D.C.
Federal Bureau Of Investigation

Punk Planet’s best moments

In no particular order, and this is only part one of a series:

1. eD Vs. Aaron, in cartoon format. I think we can all agree the drawings were awesome.

2. The Kashinovas and the breaking of the boards. It went beyond humour and beyond sabotage, and became art.

3. Pretentious Existential Macho Theater. Arizona Greg posting weird movies from his ghost ranch in the middle of nowhere.

4. Board wars. There were so many, and all were great in their own way. Many of them caused by R.John sending porn to people’s girlfriends.

5. Chicago Greg’s weather threads. Yakutsk, Russia. Better than Houellebecq at bleakness.

6.Stoopid Jonny. Just, in general.

7. Fake accounts. Everyone from Stalin to Womb Moon (RIP Andrew Watchmaker)

8. The disappointment when the new boards made it harder to have fake accounts.

9. Drunx Postingz.

10. B00b Technology

11. Greg Vs. Kevin. Sympathy Vs. Empathy

12. Doctor Stevie’s PP songs.

13. I’m sorry about your friend.

14. Invasion of the polite Turkish spambots.

more to follow. Please add your own, too.

crusty anarcho-punk bands that i miss

I love Skarpretter, a great Danish anarcho-punk band. I’m still bummed they called it quits last year.

Dinosaurs

Discuss.

Howard Zinn, NOOOOOOO!!!!

I actually new Howard Zinn fairly well. He was such a great fucking guy. Brilliantly smart, great politics, and genuinely caring individual. There aren’t many like him. Howard, my man, I’m going to miss you.

Drum Loop Artist Wanted for Virtual Band. Must Be Called Mack

Are you creative? Talented Extroverted? Looking for an outlet?

Wow, you sound annoying. Maybe you should form a band or something and get it out of your system.

But anyway, on a completely different note:

Mack, please get me some of these drum samples or whatever you said you could do, as we have nothing happening in terms of real drums.  Seriously, do this.

Suggested band name: The Plastic Macks

Influences: Joy Division, Talking Heads, Massive Attack, Kraftwerk, Throbbing Gristle, Devo, B52s, Freezepop, Stylex.

Any suggestions?

I wish you guys could all come.

I’m nervous and want to puke.

“Fundamentally Embarrassed”

I only got to skim Costa’s rant, but I can relate to the embarrassment of posting rants.

It basically was all I would post on PP. Blame it on my crazy teenage angst/hormones, or just the fact that I don’t really speak to people about things that bother me so I would usually end up typing some schizo shit away, pushing the post button, and instantly regretting it.

I never had the guts to actually go and delete them though. I’d sit there and contemplate a reply to comments, if there was any. Seriously, sometimes I would sit for like 15 minutes trying to figure out what to say. It bothered me, and still does, since I still am pretty self conscious about what ever I post on here. I don’t think I should be, but still there it is. Anyway, is the whole internet band thing still going to happen? I wouldn’t mind singing, I kick ass on Rock Band if that gives me any cool points…

Because I care about you enough. . .

. . . to want you to be entertained on a Friday afternoon:

Banking is one of those areas where I feel both stupid AND powerless. You can’t burn down their buildings and have any impact, refuse to do business with them (well, you can, but the consequences are pretty dire if you’re a wussy like me), take all their money, or pee on all of them. I guess co-ops and credit unions are an option for some people. But what do you do about banking bonuses? I respect Billy Bragg for his campaign against RBS but I have a sneaking suspicion it will make absolutely no difference. Actually, if anyone does know about any good cooperative banks or credit unions in the eastern US, please let me know. I could join my local teacher’s credit union, but their only building is a zillion miles away from me, and guess who does not have a car?

Whatever. I’m sure it’s all my own fault anyway. Happy Friday. Or Saturday, to Steve.